same story again

[markw]

Had 2 low/bad days on Saturday and Sunday, missed the WW like crazy (kept that to myself) my Daughter is not aware as i have been upbeat while around her! i would hate her to let slip to her Grandmother and ruin my being Dark!

[Traveler]

Hi Mark, I would try not to worry about what D tells Grandmother tells WW. You asked D once not to share much, and now it's out of your control. Focus more on your GAL and how you're really doing--things you control. Focusing much on what your WW hears would be the opposite of detachment.

[Joe2017]

i would hate her to let slip to her Grandmother and ruin my being Dark!

Why? Why would you hate it if she talked to grandmother? Why are you even going dark then? What's your purpose for this? Is it for your your own protection (it should be) or is it because you're trying to manipulate the situation in some way (that won't work)?

You have to be honest with yourself. Don't focus on the obstacles. Focus on your goals. If you keep staring at the trees in your path you are going to slam into one. Concentrate on the path and you'll stay on it.

[Traveler]

To tie Joe's and my points back to Sandi's "Plan of Action"--

I. Accept what you cannot control or change.
G. Accept the fact that you are the only person you can control.

II. Regain mental stability and clarity.
F. Do not be concerned about what she thinks of you or your decisions/actions during this period. Whenever you catch yourself worrying what she thinks of your actions or reactions, remember your goal is to get your mind and emotions to a place of stability and clarity. As long as you are focused on what she thinks or feels, you aren’t focused on your goal.

III. Proactive steps
F. GAL!

[markw]

To tie Joe's and my points back to Sandi's "Plan of Action"--

I. Accept what you cannot control or change.
G. Accept the fact that you are the only person you can control.

II. Regain mental stability and clarity.
F. Do not be concerned about what she thinks of you or your decisions/actions during this period. Whenever you catch yourself worrying what she thinks of your actions or reactions, remember your goal is to get your mind and emotions to a place of stability and clarity. As long as you are focused on what she thinks or feels, you aren’t focused on your goal.

III. Proactive steps
F. GAL!

Thanks for a bit of clarity, i can see that i am worrying about info getting to my WW rather than if it gets to her then so be it,
let me worry about me and my D, ignore her all together until she contacts me! i am starting to understand a lot of the concept of being dark, just need to keep reading it and applying all of it,
i am having good days without thinking about the sitch, but there are still a few bad days and i know i need to keep working on me

thanks for the help

[OnlyBent]

Still early on MW, so don’t be too hard on yourself.

Just remember to do things with you in mind and what you want, don’t let her factor into your decisions. Easier said than done I know, but a pretty simple guide nonetheless.

[markw]

still a bit raw as its only been 7 weeks today that the bomb was dropped and only 6 weeks after WW left the house.

still chewing stuff in my head and trying to make sense of it! and also answering D questions about why?

first time i have not had WW here with me in 28 years.

i am happier than i was 6 weeks ago and i am sleeping a lot better than i was. so onwards and upwards

[OnlyBent]

Good to hear mate, it will keep getting better.

Keep posting and keep following the advice

[Mumin]

It is important to note (if not already done) that it is ok and often advices to tell Children “I don’t know”.
Several ICs in different sitches have said this.

You are very early still so read and try to learn as much as possible.
Things WILL get better!

[SteveLW]

Hang in there mark. AS others have said, things will get better. And DBing gets easier as you work at it and times goes on. RIght now your brain is still trying to figure out what went wrong. It takes a while to rewire your brain to realize the whys aren't important. The "what I do from this moment forward" is what is important. People who are always looking back trying to figure out where the previous obstacle was will eventually trip over the next obstacle. Put the past behind you. You've already had the epiphany about the power of DB, so focus on DBIng. GAL. Self-improvements. Detachment. Focus your efforts there. Grandmothers, and other common people do not matter. We live in an interconnected world, so worrying about things you can't control won't help you. Focus on yourself, and what you need to do RIGHT now.

You've got this mark.