@CWarrior - Thanks. My reply about not wanting to see her was really me practicing being authentic, I'll need to think about that more.....
She called me in a panic...we talked through a few options. She's a nurse so she needs to be careful. I'm a pretty resourceful man and found 3 practitioners who can do rapid testing. After we went over some next steps I could hear that she was still unsettled. Then she said - "I'm really upset because of missing work, I have no paid time off, we have to cancel the baby sitters...and a few other things" I said I'm sorry and it all sounds like a lot. Let's take it one step at a time" It was the first time she shared any emotion with me in 6 weeks. Our daughter was in a fit in the background, A said that they were both hungry and she continued to spiral.
I said I'd go get them some breakfast and dropped it off at their front door.
Then she sent me a text elaborating on all the things she's stressed about - canceled dentist appointment cancelling 2 babysitters and a friend visit.
I simply replied - "I'm sorry, sounds overwhelming. I know you're doing your best"
Am I getting this right?
And stop apologizing for things she didn't do. This is beta behavior. Her: "I feel stressed!" You; "I am sorry!" I am not a fan of "I am sorry" as a validation tactic. First it becomes a crutch. You end up apologizing every time she has a bad day. Second, it makes it sound like you are at fault, something that WAS already feel about their LBS. You don't say sorry because you didn't do anything wrong!
"Sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed." Simple. Validating. Straight to the point.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Last edited by job; 03/04/2108:35 PM. Reason: added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
