All WW bs. Could you have been a better husband? Absolutely! Normal mature women do not solve marriage problems by joining dating websites. Hunker down in the family home until you can see lawyer and find out your rights. Just be prepared for the manipulation because it’s coming.
Yeah, I already said I won't be coming back to the studio and will be living at home from now on. I did a lot of growth there but it has served its purpose for me. I'll focus even more on the kids and me and keep growing. I spent 4 days down at the coast with my oldest this week which was awesome. She was texting me saying what a great dad I was and all kinds of sappy sh!t. And then spent the evenings online with the OM yucking it up. Oh well, I knew I was going to get hurt, better now than later.
So sorry you had to find out all that, and with all those details too, I understand how hurtful that must have been.
It’s great that you’ve recognised your growth, but please don’t stop growing just because you’ve made the decision to move on. It’s a lifelong journey my friend, keep at it. The people here will be still here whatever happens.
Thanks OB. I will keep growing and hopefully now I can grow in other ways without this albatross on my back.
She was texting me saying what a great dad I was and all kinds of sappy sh!t.
You spent 4 days on the coast with your oldest--wonderful--maybe it was genuine validation you are a great father and she's glad she had kids with you? Props, SaltyDog, even if this week otherwise was sour.
I KNOW he and I aren't going anywhere. I've always known that. I know you are the better man for me. And of all honesty I planned to commit myself to really trying with you once my 3 jobs settled. I am not nor have been stringing you along. And I am not making [censored] up now just for fun. I've known these things all along. I just haven't been ready. I've been so hurt by you for so long and now you are showing up in so many ways. And I am f*cking angry about it. But I also know if I can get over the anger and find my way back that it would be a more fulfilling life than the path we were previously on.
She was texting me saying what a great dad I was and all kinds of sappy sh!t.
You spent 4 days on the coast with your oldest--wonderful--maybe it was genuine validation you are a great father and she's glad she had kids with you? Props, SaltyDog, even if this week otherwise was sour.
Thank you. I think it was genuine. I just think she's too broken right now to know up from down.
I KNOW he and I aren't going anywhere. I've always known that. I know you are the better man for me. And of all honesty I planned to commit myself to really trying with you once my 3 jobs settled. I am not nor have been stringing you along. And I am not making [censored] up now just for fun. I've known these things all along. I just haven't been ready. I've been so hurt by you for so long and now you are showing up in so many ways. And I am f*cking angry about it. But I also know if I can get over the anger and find my way back that it would be a more fulfilling life than the path we were previously on.
I KNOW he and I aren't going anywhere. I've always known that. I know you are the better man for me. And of all honesty I planned to commit myself to really trying with you once my 3 jobs settled. I am not nor have been stringing you along. And I am not making [censored] up now just for fun. I've known these things all along. I just haven't been ready. I've been so hurt by you for so long and now you are showing up in so many ways. And I am f*cking angry about it. But I also know if I can get over the anger and find my way back that it would be a more fulfilling life than the path we were previously on.
Is this the manipulation?
Salty, yes, her goal seems to be to influence you to wait as a backup option. She's not waiting--she's flying off with OM#1 to have a week of great sex and see where their feelings are.
As long as she believes if she changed her mind you'd take her back, exploring OM is safe. It sounds like she's convinced coming back to you would be more fulfilling than before, but she's not convinced it's more fulfilling than OM#1 or the next OM or she wouldn't be flying to them.
I do believe her anger at you making 180s now and not before when she was into you. To get over the anger and pain, she'd need to commit to getting over the anger and pain. There are therapists, books, etc. for that. It's work but doable if she wants it--it's neither rocket science nor does it just happen.
How you want to move forward is up to you. I can't decide that for you. I am not asking you to wait for me. I am just asking you not to fully close the door. If you do, I will understand as mine has been clsoed and locked for awhile now. But you have been slowly picking the lock.
I don't want to give you false hope. So I am not giving you any hope. We are broken. Really broken. But I see you. I see you changing. And if I get caught up at some point I may be able to show up differently for us. It will then be up to you to decide what you want to do with me
