Since then I haven't said anything to her, that was Tuesday. I feel a bit mixed up. This is the least contact I have had with her since BD and OM.
Steve if this is true and all this time the longest you have gone is 1 day without contact and you are all out of sorts I think this is way past our pay grade. I think you may need a major help to get you to a good place. I am not sure I have ever seen such an unhealthy attachment to another human being. Can your work place help you?
One foot in front of the other, Steve. Just keep going.
Keep going to the gym and really pushing yourself. Also there's lots of good material on Youtube that would be good for you. I remember watching countless Ted talks on relationships etc that was very helpful for me.
No LH its not ever, its since she moved back into her mom's, since OM has been gone about a month. She started the push/pull game when she broke up then decided to go to just push since I was so available. She is literally trying to keep one hand on me and one hand in the jar of OMs. So this would be the longest I have gone without actually putting any effort into doing anything since OM has been gone. yes its only been a couple days but for me I haven't really had a sense of honestly giving up until a couple days ago. I really feel like I gave it my best shot. No need to tell me how attached I was or whatever else, I get it. It took a long time, I know.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
I am just not sure what we can do here. I honestly believe for whatever reason you can't let go. I believe that you want to do it. That's why I think you need professional advice. Nothing we have said has helped you in any way and I don't see that changing. It must be an awful feeling.
Steve_, yesterday, last week, last month, last year.....all water under the bridge. What you do from this point forward is what is important. You can do this! You can find the inner-strength to move forward with your life and leave the past behind you. You will have up and downs, just don't let the roller-coaster ride cause you to fall out.
So any plans for tonight, and the next few days? Remember, staying busy will help keep you from wanting to reach out.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Just the gym, did some grocery shopping went home. I don’t need to worry about reaching out. What stops me Is knowing it won’t matter so I just don’t. Yes it’s hard but I just don’t do it. At some point I had to stop so I did. Neither one of us have gone this long without some game or maniulation or excuse to reach out. About something since Om was gone. Since I stoped so did she. The silence is hard but I am doing it. It’s not more complicated than that. It’s not a game for me anymore. I just don’t have anything else to say especially since it wouldn’t matter if I did. Yes it’s lonely yes facing the facts and not being in la la land anymore is not so easy but I am doing it.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
What stops me Is knowing it won’t matter so I just don’t. Yes it’s hard but I just don’t do it. At some point I had to stop so I did. Neither one of us have gone this long without some game or maniulation or excuse to reach out. About something since Om was gone. Since I stoped so did she. The silence is hard but I am doing it. It’s not more complicated than that. It’s not a game for me anymore.
Being very honest with yourself is good, Steve. Knowing it won't matter is accepting the fact you can't "do something" to change things with her. This is where you have to be in order to start building a new life for you. Yes, the silence is hard, and probably feels strange, but look at you. You are doing it.
Thank you for dropping a line a two. It doesn't have to be any update, but just hearing you say these few words lets us know you are still hanging in there.
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Good to hear from you, Steve. Keep your head up. You've got good days ahead of you. Even if you can't see it right now. A few months from now you'll be wondering why you were so upset. You've got this...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
I just wanted to drop by and offer some encouragement.
This is all temporary. You are going to find your inner peace and find your happiness. And you’re going to find this thru yourself and not someone else. It’s so important to be able to find happiness and define who you are thru yourself and never ever allow yourself to be defined by someone else, to rely on your happiness through someone else. And right now I know you are hurting and I know you are depressed but these are the first steps to being happy without someone else making you happy.
I know you feel hopeless, but right now you are on the cusp of potential greatness for you.
Keep focusing on you, and your kids. Stay focused on how you and your kids deserve better.
Your ex isn’t done messing with you. I guarantee you that so stay vigilant.
And remember, you never ever know what today can bring. As you know one moment can change everything. And you never know what day is going to change everything for the positive.
Keep your head up, keep moving forward.
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
