Yeah I considered that Thornton, it will be as LH says a long time from now only after major changes occur. There is no going back and fixing this right now or any time soon. Nothing can besides like God coming down from heaven and giving her an attitude adjustment will fix that. And yeah lol not happening. No time soon and probably not ever to be honest. I’m actually starting to look really forward to the days I can not think about her at all. It’s a lot easier than it was before. I’m shifting my focus back to myself, the kids and so on. The M isn’t even on my plate anymore. It wasn’t for awhile but I got sucked into this date thing and backslid. I got a $100 bottle of wine as a reminder on the fridge I didn’t open not to do that again. Anyways onwards I suppose.
As far as the kids, I can’t control thier mom. She’s lost it in every way. When I got the kids they have rules, they go to school, we do family things together. I’m solid for them. For now that’s what I got. Hopefully WW will get more tired of them and just give me full custody.
Last edited by Steve_; 03/13/2108:41 PM.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
You gotta let her go man. She’s clearly a narcissist and that will NEVER change.
And Corey Wayne would spit his coffee out if someone told him you were trying to use his stuff to pick up your 6x cheating wife who is actively dating (6x that you know about. I bet there’s lots you don’t know about).
Dude this isn’t about re-attracting your wife. This is about you saving your own life and creating a path for your children to heal. Not one person here supports you getting back with your WW, what does that tell you? This is a marriage saving website, why would everyone here tell you to run? Truly, think about that.
Steve, please hear me. YOUR W IS SERIAL CHEATER. That will never change. Not with you, and not with the next poor bastard she manipulates into a relationship. She has a personality disorder man, the worst kind too.
Lastly, you need to find a way to NEVER go to your in-laws house again. Have your MIL or a friend drop them off or pick them up. I think you are using your in-laws as an excuse to peacock in front of your wife.
I hope and pray you can break free of this cycle of abuse.
Yeah I’ll admit I am not detached, I am not all set to move on yet. I’m a lot better than I was but I got a lot of work to go, not looking forward to the painful days ahead but, I’ll get through em. I have so far. Day by day inch by inch I’m slowly accepting this is life now.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
That wasn't a backslide. That was a fall off the cliff. Steve_ now I know why you don't post more often, because you know we would have told you not to do what you planned to do. And I don't buy for a second you won't try again. You've said you're done more times than I can count.
You need to move on. You won't but you need to.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Picked up the kids after work. She answered the door so I could go Inside I said “sup” walked in packed my kids stuff, talked to my ILs about my MILs new heart medication. Did not say a word to WW, usually she goes into her room and calls me in there to talk, as me how I am doing, tells me to sit awhile not this time. Once I packed everything we needed for the week I poked my head in and said “see ya later” she was laying On the bed with some depressed look and said “bye”.
That is the least amount of talking I’ve ever managed to do in person with her ever. And I have to say it was actually a relief. I didn’t want to talk didn’t want to explain didn’t want to hear excuses. Just wanted to pick my kids up, I got some fun stuff planned for the day. I’m happy with how last night went.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
Steve, only your exchanges look like this. Most have the kids sent out the door at the appointed time, if they couldn't manage to do the swap through an intermediary like school, daycare, etc.
Originally Posted by Steve_
I poked my head in and said “see ya later” she was laying On the bed with some depressed look and said “bye”.
You want to hear we've been there, but you're unusually attached to an unusually abusive partner. I hope the three questions I posed before rattle around in your head, even if you're not ready to engage them.
As far as the kids, I can’t control thier mom. When I got the kids they have rules, they go to school, we do family things together.
You can when her behaviors are negligent or abusive or dangerous towards the kids--such as not taking them to school or engaging in illegal professions. You've been reminded that a few times by myself and others who have successfully taken action. You've hopefully read Joseph's situation--since stripping away her parenting he's happier, his WW wants him, and he's dating someone wonderful. I know you are not ready to do this, I just didn't want to let "I can't" slide, when you find that strength you aspire to you will say "I can". That more powerful Steve would be happier--and more attractive to ladies, if you need that nudge!
I find your recent update upsetting. IMO it shows everybody here what kind of person you really are and where your priorities lies..
Originally Posted by Steve_
So I figured wth, I got nothing to lose
You are right.. Self respect means zero to you..You have none.. and your WW has no respect for you so what did you have to lose ?
Originally Posted by Steve_
Even the children knew that mom was going to go visit daddy on friday.
Point proven - enough said.. Poor parenting and i'm reigning myself in when i only use these words. Thiking of yourself and not the children or what they must be thinking.
Selfish & Manipulative.. With two very messed up and selfish parents, i feel for the children..
Originally Posted by Steve_
(I knew there would be an excuse, a change of plans, a something in advance).
And yet your children knew "mom was going to visit daddy" - Was it you who told them ? Was this more manipulation on your part as you knew WW may not show up.... So you could guilt trip WW if she cancelled - "oh the children will be disapointed, they know your are coming!"
Originally Posted by Steve_
"I made this plan with you a week ago, the kids were not invited since it was a date, I didnt put time into a nice wine, dinner and desert to spend it with kids).
Dad of the year comment there. You spend time and money sorting out your place for WW, who 1) - manuipulates you 2) - Cheats on you 3) - Ignores the children 4) - Uses You 5) - Is a nasty piece of work....
But then have the audacity to comment about not spending time with the kids.
Poor Poor Poor children.
Did it ever cross your mind about how your could have used that time / money spent on wine and desert etc with the children, you may actually appriciate it ? - Doubt it !
Originally Posted by Steve_
Yes big backslide I know I F'd up. Wont happen again.
It will - You are like the addict who's sole focus is the "fix"..
My focus on these sitchs is always kids kids kids...ALWAYS
You have the worse WW i have ever seen on this board... But at the same time, your actions are the most selfish i have seen from a LBS - You are so 1 sighted, you fail to see what everybody else does - You have 1 focus and everybody and everything else including your children are not considered when you act on emotions.
Re pickups.
You will ignore, but my arrangement is that the custodial parent drops off.. Never collects.
This reduces hanging around and the need to go into the WW house. I drop my children at WW's and never leave my car. I kiss them goodbye and drive. ZERO interaction with WW..
When she drops off at mine, she does get out of the car, she does walk them to the door, but i dont speak to her / see her. My boundary which i have never broken is that she never ever steps a foot into my house. It works well and there is no interaction.
I doubt you will enforce such a thing, as you will find an excuse not to.
Last edited by MrBrside; 03/15/2109:46 AM.
Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..
Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.
