The IC was with a LMFT (Licensed marriage and family therapist) Yeah I need psychotherapy not an LMFT. So Im gonna ask the VA to switch providers.
I honestly have a plan going forward that I think will work for me. I am going to just distance myself as much as I can, be there 100% for my kids, and when she asks for anything else just politely and respectfully decline. No anger, no games, no manipulation no trying to solicit any "feelings". Just time and distance and being steady and not bouncing around her emotional games. I want to be a Steve who is not gonna be pissed one day or a push over the next. Honestly things have been a lot easier and this distance has grown greater since I haven't been talking to her or doing anything to "fix things." Im gonna take my day off tomrrow and go fishing up in the hills after I get my truck registration and so on taken care of. I really need to stop worrying about eveyone else and find some inner peace.
I feel like the best option I got right now is to stop doing anything and just worry about myself and my kids. I do realize at this point there really is nothing I havent tried and none of it worked. Its not even about DBing for me now, its just about not going underwater and getting to a place I can just be happy with being alone. That's what I'm gonna work on right now.
Last edited by Steve_; 03/17/2104:59 PM.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
Fair enough LH. I’m assuming by DBing it would be the LRT from the books. ?
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
I’m afraid there is absolutely nothing at all you can possibly do. You would need to change the core of who she is for any thing to change. Nobody can change the core of the person she is.
[quote=Steve_]The problem is not you Steve_, and this is what we all have been trying to show you. You could become the greatest catch in the history of men, and this women is incapable of being a faithful, loving spouse for you.
Completely agree with this except I'll take it one step further. This woman isn't capable of being faithful to anyone. She would cheat on George Clooney if they were dating.
I want to be a Steve who is not gonna be pissed one day or a push over the next.
I love that you have this insight about yourself. You are either at one extreme or the other. So now that you recognize this what are you going to do to change it?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I think it should read: No sane person should ever date my W. Recon would be EXTREMELY foolish.
Me: 34 Stbxw: 30 D:5 D:3 Mini bd: May/June 2019 Married: Aug 2019 BD: 6th Dec 2019 OM Confirmed: Feb 2020 March 2020: I filed for D Waiting for D to be finalized and W to move out end of January 2021
