Just stop talking and do it. You have pretty much wasted everyone’s time on this board for the last 6 months. I remember about 5 months ago I said I wasn’t going to post to you again because I couldn’t help you. But I get sucked in, but that’s on me. Try one fuching week without posting on social media like a teenager and going NC. If you can do that then come and update. Lastly Steve, you are not going to win any father of the year awards. You’re not a babysitter watching your kids. Your a dad who spends quality time with them and is a role model. You are there for them you protect them and make sure they are getting a proper education. There is absolutely no easy way through this and you are taking every shortcut possible.
A good father isn’t about going fishing and “watching” the kids. It’s exactly as LH says. A good father protects their kids, teaches them , sets examples and is a role model.
What do you think you are teaching them right now? What are you role modeling? Are you protecting them, emotionally and physically ? Is your primary focus on their well being? Because it seems to be more on your W from where I sit. What’s she thinks about your posts, how they made her mad. ( even thinking that her bad mood had to do with your posts says it all. You have no clue why she’s mad( but you are so hyper focus on your posts and how they affect her. And why she can even see them is beyond me)
As yourself those questions as a parent. Answer them truthfully and honestly. Like take the time and write it out. Take the time you would be posting on Media to show the world whatever and answer those questions for yourself. I don’t even care to know the answers. But you should.
The last thing ever in this world I would like to do is parental judging. But this is the hardest read ever. I read and I couldn’t give 2 sh!ts about your ex, but these kids are caught in the crossfire of the most unhealthy dynamic I have seen in these boards. And they are so far from either of your focus. I have never taken a job so seriously in my life as parenting . I’ve messed up, no doubt. But every move I make in this world I ask myself, how will this affect my daughter? What am I teaching her? What am I modeling for her? Am I acting in her best interest? That’s where my intentions always are, even when I do mess up as a parent. And I always strive do better next time and learn from my mistakes
Do you feel you are doing this for your kids? What are you doing to learn from your mistakes? How you carry yourself, interact with your ex, what you allow in your life will have a bearing on the people they will become. Do you feel you are acting in such a way with all of that in mind? I don’t even want to hear your answer. I want you to truthfully answer that for yourself
My harsh words aren’t meant to make you feel attacked. They’re in an attempt to get you to wake up. There are consequences to all of this. And those consequences won’t care about anyone feelings.
I understand your addicted to your W. I understand you’re still trying to manipulate her back even if it’s subconscious. What I don’t understand is why you don’t get that you are a dad regardless of where your kids are.
No one is saying have the courts take them away. But yes missing 13 days of school is a big deal. Your W is actively denying your kids the chance to have a proper education and you’ve said oh well.
You can choose to live in denial about everything. You don’t have to accept or take anyone’s advice, but you and kids are going to be the ones who get hurt. Especially the kids.
Last edited by JosephS; 03/27/2101:03 PM.
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
Ginger the bottle was not in the photo itself, just the glasses in their hand. But I worded it wrong. Not on you on me. By watching kids I meant it was not my day with them, but I watched them for her. I am not going to argue clearly I am not getting this right. I am gonna take a break, take a breath and do as LH recommends. Everything I have done is just showing I can’t let go of this. I’m kidding myself. Not fooling anyone. I think I need to stop trying to convince you guys and convince myself first. I’m gonna take a week and work on it. Honestly at this point I am ready just not been able to actually do it. I get sucked in by stupid games of hers. And I try to tell myself I’m making progress but clearly based on what y’all have said I have not. I am exhausted of this situation. And I won’t quit the board. I do appreciate your time and I read everything you post. But I need to unplug, get away from this discussion, get away from WW and just have some time off from all this. If “what you focus on you attract” is true. Then focusing on the drama is why I’m getting it. I need a reboot. I’ll be back hopefully with better news in a week or so. Thanks
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
“When it comes to relationships, many people project their fantasy of what they want onto romantic prospects, and due to their extreme attraction and strong emotions, they ignore all kinds of red flags, disrespect and incompatibility. This inclination to self-delude is heightened in people who don’t think very highly of themselves and those who are ruled by their fears. When you love and value yourself, you only stay involved with people who reciprocate high interest and who treat you the way you want to be treated. The only way to eventually get what you really want is to stick to your ideals and live a life of principle and integrity, discarding those who don’t measure up. The right people will help you achieve your grandest goals and dreams, and the wrong people will become obstacles and roadblocks to your success.” ~ Coach Corey Wayne
Ending this thread. When the time comes I will start a new one and link this.
Thanks for being so tough about the BS I was pulling/posting. This has been one of my best weeks since I came here. I’ve done really well. Actually started DBing. And it has nothing to do with WW. I got another week to go with only smart contact. So far I have stuck to it 100%. Only minimal answers and so on. No SM posts, no manipulation or anything else. Just putting my head down and dealing. So far so good. I’ll be back in a week if I can keep it going.
T:11 M:10 K: D5, S7 BD: 9/1/20 WW continues to break up and recon with OM. I paid last fees and pushed the D 5/3/2021 Default Dissolution granted 8/5/21. Glad my D was not busted.
