Hey OnlyBent, thanks for checking in man. Hope you are doing well, been a bit bad with keeping up to date with your sitch.
Things are alright, feel like im slowly starting to let her go more and more each day. Had a few down days but feeling like im turning a corner and getting excited about the future and full of life again. Thinking of applying for a postion in Amsterdam, i have a few friends there and think it will do wonders for my independence and building my confidence back up.
Finally feel like im on my way to detachment and acceptance which is a massive step for me. Still hold out some hope but it doesnt dominate my thought as badly anymore.
Me 32, W 24 T 6, M 3 No kids BD: Aug 2020 OM: Jan 2021 Wife to file soon
Thanks for the encouragement Steve, appreciate it man. Worst experience of my life but also the biggest learning experience and it pushed me to become a better person and go deeper into my faith. There is a reason for everything
Me 32, W 24 T 6, M 3 No kids BD: Aug 2020 OM: Jan 2021 Wife to file soon
Keep playing the patient game Ace, sounds like you seeing some light at the end of the tunnel, which is great. It will no doubt continue to be difficult at times but hopefully you're seeing what can be in your futrue.
I love Amsterdam, sounds like a good opportunity.
Me: 41 W:42 T: 14 M: 11 S: 6
"What happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way...because it didn't"
Thanks OB, considering my options at the moment. One good thing about where i am in my life at the moment is i have the opportunity to do whatever i want and i am not tied down.
Feeling a bit down today about my marriage, i wish i could just have an honest conversation with WW and tell her how i feel and just get through to her. I know nothing i could say to her even if i tried would make any difference, i think she is still in the fog of the situation and has shown no remorse. Haven't had a conversation with her in over 2 months and before that it was 3 months. So crazy how she seems to not care at all.
It just really [censored] just feeling so powerless to fix something i so badly want to fix.
Me 32, W 24 T 6, M 3 No kids BD: Aug 2020 OM: Jan 2021 Wife to file soon
Feeling a bit down today about my marriage, i wish i could just have an honest conversation with WW and tell her how i feel and just get through to her.
So how do you feel and why do you think telling her that would get through to her?
Originally Posted by Ace_32
I know nothing i could say to her even if i tried would make any difference, i think she is still in the fog of the situation and has shown no remorse.
Ace it will be likely years if ever before she shows any remorse.
Originally Posted by Ace_32
Haven't had a conversation with her in over 2 months and before that it was 3 months. So crazy how she seems to not care at all.
Waste of time to mindread but her actions do dictate her feelings.
Originally Posted by Ace_32
It just really [censored] just feeling so powerless to fix something i so badly want to fix.
So Ace she has cheated on you multiple times and with a good friend. What are you trying to fix?
Thanks OB, considering my options at the moment. One good thing about where i am in my life at the moment is i have the opportunity to do whatever i want and i am not tied down.
Feeling a bit down today about my marriage, i wish i could just have an honest conversation with WW and tell her how i feel and just get through to her. I know nothing i could say to her even if i tried would make any difference, i think she is still in the fog of the situation and has shown no remorse. Haven't had a conversation with her in over 2 months and before that it was 3 months. So crazy how she seems to not care at all.
It just really [censored] just feeling so powerless to fix something i so badly want to fix.
I feel you man. It is tough. I know from past experience you miss her and want to talk, but then after you do you actually feel worse and wish you hadn't. I often said in my own life that if I could bottle that feeling of dejection and disappointment following the interaction, then I could remember how it feels BEFORE I would initiate contact.
Good to see you have the foresight to know there is nothing you could do or say to fix it. It is a terrible feeling, but that is why acceptance is such an important step for LBSs.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Thanks LH, probably needed someone to snap me out of my pity party. I just want to have an open and honest conversation like we used to be able to do but the time for that has passed. Getting frustrated with the situation and not having any control.
Fair enough, it probably will take a lot longer than i hoped and yes her actions have made it pretty clear.
True, i know she has screwed me around more than once and i should just be grateful this happened and walk away. I dont like giving up and leaving things unresolved, and i would give her another chance if i got the opportunity. That feeling may change over time but at the moment im still confused and i do love her. I know this is a rollercoaster and emotions change constantly.
Me 32, W 24 T 6, M 3 No kids BD: Aug 2020 OM: Jan 2021 Wife to file soon
Hey Steve, thanks for stopping by. You are right, i do tend to forget how bad interactions were in the past.
Yeah i had no intention of actually contacting her, just wanted to vent a bit i guess. I know i am not at acceptance yet, i have accepted that there is nothing i can do anymore to get through to her but i have not completely accepted that there is no hope.
Me 32, W 24 T 6, M 3 No kids BD: Aug 2020 OM: Jan 2021 Wife to file soon
