if I remember correctly, of affairs end up in marriage, and of those only 25% will continue on
The most commonly cited educated guesses are F.Pittman's that 75% of marriages that begin as affair end in divorce, vs. J.Baker's that 67% 2nd marriages end in divorce.
Pessimistic for everyone.
On a brighter note, the CDC says if you remarry AND both partners are 25+ at the time, irrespective of how it began there's a 2 out of 3 chance you'll be married ten years later.
I have a hard time believing those numbers too. I've tried to keep track of the DB Class of 2020. That wasn't our experience.
Agreed. Perhaps the Class of 2020 is too fresh for analysis, but despite the affair/divorce stats, there are plenty of stories here on the board and I know enough people in real life who have lasted many years even decades with the affair partners to make me question the numbers.
Last edited by BL42; 06/21/2203:59 PM.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
The statistics show that relationships that began as affairs have a fairly low chance of long-term success. And yes, the class of 2020 is way too early to determine this.
Another statistic that bears this out is the divorce rate for 2nd and 3rd marriages. They go up with each subsequent marriage. Not a 1 to 1 statistic as there are a lot of factors, but some percentage of those are marriages that resulted from affairs.
I truly believe the old adage "If they will cheat with you, they will cheat on you." And then there is the "that which starts in lies and deception rarely results in long-term success".
Anecdotally, I know a couple of marriages that are into multiple decades that started as an affair. But those are few and fair between compared to the number of folks that I know of that cheated on their spouses and ended up not staying with the AP.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
