PS it’s still a good thing that both CPS and the cop can see that you are the same one. Every documented crazy incident with her at the police station makes her look worse.
Couple of questions: 1) Has your ex ever had a problem with drugs or alcohol? Is there mental illness in her family?
2) What is up with her boyfriend? Is he just some gullible dude who believes her pack of lies, or is he whack also???
1. No drugs or alcohol. But there is some mental illness in the family. Her brother and aunt. He is 38 lives at home, no job, friends or girlfriend. Just live off mommy and daddy. He took accutane (prescription acne medicine) at 18 which my ex claims made him loose it. I did t know him before that so I can’t compare. He has severe anger and depression issues. One time I wasn’t home and he got into an argument with my ex and punched a whole in the bathroom door. Another time he physically went after her and her dad held him back. Always happened when I wasn’t around. Of course, he wouldn’t dare do that in front of me. 2. Honestly I know nothing about this guy. I had a friend run his plates because didn’t even know his last name. He is d with 2 kids. It’s funny his ex has a Facebook page and it mentions that she is a transformation coach helping women after narcissistic abuse. I don’t know if that refers to him. But man if it does, I really need to get my kids out of there. I was with my ex for 19 years she is very good at sounding convincing. I remember this one time we went on a cruise with 3 other couples. The one mom was “copying” my ex and she didn’t like it. Example: ordering the same drink a few times. So she convinced the other 2 families she was crazy and a loser and the other 2 families stopped talking to this family on the cruise. That is how convincing she is. I apologize for what I am about to say, it’s very judgmental. He looks like a guy who really doesn’t have a lot. Maybe looking to cash in on ex. She has a big home that we fixed up right before divorce, she always makes it seems like she has a million dollars, she gets child support from me, and her parents are loaded. Honestly I would have thought she would have gone after a man solely for money. But she went in the complete opposite direction. The other thing is, he has 2 kids and is always at her house. I am 99% sure he doesn’t bring his kids there. Again I know a little judgmental, I am just giving you what I see. I could be completely wrong.
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
Also - this part struck me: “ One time I wasn’t home and he got into an argument with my ex and punched a whole in the bathroom door. Another time he physically went after her and her dad held him back. Always happened when I wasn’t around. Of course, he wouldn’t dare do that in front of me. ”
I know this sounds far fetched, but did her father confirm this story about her brother? Or could she possibly have made parts of it up?
What your ex is doing right now is either A) mentally ill - paranoia or B) sociopathic narcissism. You might want to read The Sociopath Next Door and see if it turns on any light bulbs about her past behavior, before your divorce.
Also - what kind of 11 year old boy says mom is “perfect”? I mean, my boys adored me at that age but I still can’t imagine them telling anyone I was perfect (maybe now that they’re grown, lol). So I’m wondering whose words he might be parroting?
I was with my ex for 19 years she is very good at sounding convincing. I remember this one time we went on a cruise with 3 other couples. The one mom was “copying” my ex and she didn’t like it. Example: ordering the same drink a few times. So she convinced the other 2 families she was crazy and a loser and the other 2 families stopped talking to this family on the cruise. That is how convincing she is.
This, BTW? Sounds sociopathic and that's why I recommended you read The Sociopath Next Door. I'm betting you will be able to come up with other examples that you just "got used to" or were afraid to cross her on. I mean, why on earth didn't you confront her about that mean girl stuff with the other couple? I know - because she would have made you pay for crossing her if you contradicted her, or said in front of the other couples that the other couple were not that bad.
I know you miss the "good years" of your marriage but I'm guessing you'll look back and start to see more and more stuff that you glossed over at the time.
I know this sounds far fetched, but did her father confirm this story about her brother? Or could she possibly have made parts of it up?
I saw the hole in the door at my house that time. The other time when he went after her is when i was sitting in the car waiting for her to come out with the kids. Evidently literally in just few minutes they got into an argument and he exploded and went after her she came running out with the kids, father was holding him back at the door. I went to get out to make sure she was alright and she said let’s go don’t even bother with him, so we left.
I am really stuck. I have been doing a lot of soul searching and thinking. Is there his worth the battle? Taking my ex to court to fight for custody? My d is so brainwashed she wants nothing to do with me. I am about to have another baby (2 weeks) and the amount this is going to cost me? I don’t want my d growing up in That environment because it’s not healthy for her or my s. I am also afraid if I did win what would life look like with a teen who only wants to be with her mom and hates us and having a new born? Do I let my d go and wait for the day she realizes I am not what her mom made me out to be or do I fight and possibly win and have a d who is so depressed and defiant. Honestly everyone, just being honest I am emotionally exhausted. I recognize I have made many mistakes and rushed some things. I wish I could go back in time and fix this all, but I can’t. I just want the best for my kids, whatever that mean. Just looking for peoples points of view. Sometimes when you are in the thick of it you don’t see everything.
Originally Posted by Ready2Change
DO NOT AGREE TO ANY CHANGE OF LOCATION FOR THE EXCHANGE.
This is the BEST PLACE for it to happen for you. She will hate it. You should love it. .
I understand this will protect me. But is it really good for my s to be going through this? I feel horrible for my s to have to go through this.
I will get those books everyone recommended
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
My d is so brainwashed she wants nothing to do with me.
Boy Wolf you are sure always the victim. I would love to give you the benefit of the doubt but I just can't get myself to do it. I think about my daughter who is 12. My exw could say just about anything in the world to her about me and it wouldn't change her view of me. Why? Because of how she feels when she is with me. She loves me, she trusts me and IMO if that ever changes it is on me.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
Do I let my d go and wait for the day she realizes I am not what her mom made me out to be or do I fight and possibly win and have a d who is so depressed and defiant.
I think you have to let her go for now. As sad as it sounds maybe time and space will do some good. Nobody wins in D but it's safe to say everyone in your situation loses including your GF, your new baby and your exw's boyfriend. Very tragic!
