BL, KML, I'm in the top 1% in terms of income and professional status. OM is not. So, there are some perks for her to being separated rather than divorced and I am sure that she misses parts of her old life. That's probably all that there is to it. What's hard for me to understand is why OM is willing to put up with it.
Of course she’s having regrets. She sees you bringing home a different model every weekend. That makes you someone of value. As for OM he is like most men and is just happy to have a gf.
Yes, at the end of the process, I find myself married with no more divorce actions pending and she actually decided to withdraw the proceedings.
So are there any negative financial implications for you staying married? Or do you have any sort of legal separation agreement? I mean, she's not still entitled to half of your 1% income bracket earnings over the last 3 years, is she?
Originally Posted by Spiral
She's also started texting me much more frequently, bringing me food, expressing regret, and things like that.
Interesting. How do you respond? Do you entertain it at all?
Originally Posted by Spiral
What's hard for me to understand is why OM is willing to put up with it.
Originally Posted by LH19
As for OM he is like most men and is just happy to have a gf.
I'm willing to guess LH nailed it. She affair'd down and he's just happy to be with someone and doesn't have the guts to call her out on it. Must give you a bit of validation to have her reaching out and know you're on the better end of it.
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
She is keeping you as backup plan. In her mind, if things fizzle with OM or he dumps her, she thinks still being married means she can fall back into your arms.
It’s called monkey branching, and women are masters at it.
I wouldn’t take it as any sign that she’s falling in love with you again. She’s just checking her insurance policy is still rock solid.
BL, KML, I'm in the top 1% in terms of income and professional status. OM is not. So, there are some perks for her to being separated rather than divorced and I am sure that she misses parts of her old life. That's probably all that there is to it. What's hard for me to understand is why OM is willing to put up with it.
Of course she’s having regrets. She sees you bringing home a different model every weekend. That makes you someone of value. As for OM he is like most men and is just happy to have a gf.
She sees you bringing home models every weekend, spiral? How does she manage to see that?
The ex doesn't see me bring anyone home. No one ever does. And it isn't a different model each weekend. It's the same one and the model is one of a few people that I follow on social media. If anyone cared enough to check out the social media, then they'd know. These days following one another on social media and appearing in IG stories is an essential part of dating. So, if the ex cares enough to stalk my social media, then she knows. If not, then she doesn't.
BL,
There aren't any negative financial consequences. We're locked in. But the ex does have access to things like health insurance and family memberships until the divorce is finalized. And I pay for more things than I have to. So, staying married is probably a little bit sweeter deal for her.
Perhaps I shouldn't, but I say thank you and accept the gifts and food she brings.
Kind18,
She is definitely not falling in love with me again. There's nothing that suggests she is. But I think that you're absolutely right and I understand why she'd prefer it. I just cannot understand why OM would tolerate this development after all that he has invested into the relationship.
LH,
In my experience, you're usually right. I might not agree at first, but I do in the end. Like that time you wrote early on that my ex wasn't done with me. I thought you were wrong. And look where I am three years later.
