Still Goin' Solo

[Traveler]

i'll probably start with the free ones first and see how it goes

Amateur pics trump something Photoshopped. Mine are all taken by me or friends. A face shot, a full-body shot, an action shot, a group shot, something highlighting my cooking skills, somewhere amazing I visited.

CW - any tips on writing the profile?

Mine has a short intro, a short bit about what I'm seeking, a couple of incredibly unique bits about me, a note about my kids, and a suggestion for their first message. The "incredibly unique bits about me" is most important. You want to separate yourself from generic "I like to hike" or "I like walks on the beach" profiles. What do you do that 99% in your area don't or can't?

[Ginger1]

Well, as a female about your age, you might want my tips on writing a profile.

1) no gym selfies

2) no dead fish

3) smile!!!

4) must have appropriate humor added in there. No kids In pictures. The prompts let everyone know you have kids and are divorced.

3) no blurry pictures

Make sure the “about you” section is actually about you, and not what you expect or want in a partner. Make it positives and never negatives

A good smile, a positive bio, shared interests, employed, within reasonable proximity, gets a swipe right from me!

Usually guys bomb at conversation time with me. Break out the dirty nasty right up front. Don’t do that! Lol

[Dawn70]

No sunglasses selfies or as G and kml said bathroom or gym selfies. I also don’t care for group shots, unless you specifically identify which one you are…too much guesswork.

Be honest about who you are and what you are looking for. Direct and funny are good. Be confident but not cocky. And to kml’s point, (and for me personally, I can’t stress this one enough), grammar and spell check. It might sound snobby on my part but if I encountered terrible spelling and poor grammar on a profile, regardless of how the guy looked or sounded in his profile, I kept on trucking by.

[bttrfly]

intelligence, humor, please, I do not need a full body shot. That to me says you're trying way too hard and I'm likely to get a d!c& pic at some point down the road, which isn't something I want or need.

just be real.

the one guy I really clicked with was funny, polite, respectful, and intelligent. He had a smile that was genuine.

[BL42]

1/3 catfish profiles, 1/3 literally scary profiles and 1/3 maybe normal but not always close.

How do you assess that a profile is a "catfish"? I need to do a reverse image search for that, but only bother with when we start talking. It's rare in my area--maybe 1 in 50 profiles? Similar question for "scary"?

Maybe "catfish" is not the right word, but there are definitely obviously fake accounts on Tinder...a lot of them.

Once you use the app for a bit you start to recognize them..."too good to be true" ages and pictures which are obviously not local, often with duplicative bios "I'm shy at first but will warm up", and references to their Instagram and Snapchat profiles, and possibly a weird nature picture with cryptic text.

In terms of scary just mean profiles that may be real but I wouldn't touch with a ten foot poll.

Also a lot more "hook up with me while my husband watches" or "married ethically non-monogamous" than I'd ever imagine.

Maybe I'm wrong, just seems like Tinder is the trashiest.

[Maika]

Thanks everyone for the OLD feedback. I will keep it in my backpocket until I take the plunge. I definitely have a lot to learn in this area. Few things:

From a woman's perspective- PLEASE no nude or semi-nude selfies in front of the bathroom mirror.

haha no worries there. thanks for the reminder though.

and a suggestion for their first message

I don't understand that. What does that mean? Is it something like 'hey, ask me about how I managed to eat the behemoth cheeseburger at the county fair' - i know I'm sounding ridiculous here but scarfing down giant cheeseburgers might be someone's unique thing lol.

2) no dead fish

like literally no dead fish or am I missing some dating lingo here.

And to kml’s point, (and for me personally, I can’t stress this one enough), grammar and spell check.

yeah I try to be on point with grammar and spelling for sure. I'm cavalier on this site as I don't proofread my posts, but point well taken.

Once you use the app for a bit you start to recognize them..."too good to be true" ages and pictures which are obviously not local, often with duplicative bios "I'm shy at first but will warm up", and references to their Instagram and Snapchat profiles, and possibly a weird nature picture with cryptic text.

In terms of scary just mean profiles that may be real but I wouldn't touch with a ten foot poll.

Also a lot more "hook up with me while my husband watches" or "married ethically non-monogamous" than I'd ever imagine.

yeah i've heard tinder has bot accts and some fake accts. I'll definitely watch out for that. Don't plan on getting on Tinder first but will check it out at some point. also at least I'm glad ppl are saying that they want their husbands to watch, so you can screen those accts out - unless that's your thing. I know the ethically non-monogamous stuff and polyamory stuff is also quite prevalent now. Heard enough about how brutal that is and so gonna steer away from that. Good for folks who can manage it.

[kml]

Also - for pics - please, under no circumstances, post a picture of yourself in a bathrobe holding a live duck! I have no idea what that photo was about but it was so bizarre that was a no go from the moment I saw the photo.

[OnlyBent]

Yo Maika, have you considered not doing OLD? When I am ready to start dating properly I am going to go down the road of trying to meet people the old fashioned way. This year I haven't really dated but have met a few women, one at a wedding, one at a party, one at the gym and one on the street. Its surprisingly easy to just go up and chat and its really builds the confidence. Since the wedding back in Feb when I was there completely solo knowing only the groom, I have made a real effort to practice sparking up conversation with anyone (male, female, old, young).

How would you feel about trying that before wading into what sounds like the pretty murky waters of OLD?

[LH19]

Yo Maika, have you considered not doing OLD? When I am ready to start dating properly I am going to go down the road of trying to meet people the old fashioned way. This year I haven't really dated but have met a few women, one at a wedding, one at a party, one at the gym and one on the street. Its surprisingly easy to just go up and chat and its really builds the confidence. Since the wedding back in Feb when I was there completely solo knowing only the groom, I have made a real effort to practice sparking up conversation with anyone (male, female, old, young).

How would you feel about trying that before wading into what sounds like the pretty murky waters of OLD?

Or you can do both. Seems to me that the guys on here who online date get lots of dates. The ones who don’t do not.

It’s only murky because of CWs great outdoor adventures.

[bttrfly]

i'd say it murky because CW is color blind - he can't/won't/doesn't see the red flags the rest of us see, so we hear about the women other guys would pass on.

my guy friends report a mixed bag of reviews - some prefer meeting in the real world; others, one in particular, has the OLD down. Of course that particular male friend is a self-avowed player and none of these women seem to hang around for more than 6 months tops, if that.