Boundary after big D part five

[BL42]

Mach40,

She wants to go on a simple road trip to Savannah with me.. Cool. I wont consider it a date just yet. She is not married, no pictures in her house, no ring ( no I didnt ask)

From what you've shared, she's interested: coming over, longer chats, invite to her family's NYE party, trip to Savannah. Seems to me you're playing coy with the "not a date yet" comments...

And today, my youngest daughter is moving in.. It will be nice to have her in the house.

She's moving out of her mom's house and in with you? What's the story there?

[Mach40]

And today, my youngest daughter is moving in.. It will be nice to have her in the house.

She's moving out of her mom's house and in with you? What's the story there?

My youngest has been living on her own for a while.
The resturaunt she works in makes it hard to make ends meet.
So, she asked to move in, save some money for a while.

[Mach40]

She wants to go on a simple road trip to Savannah with me.. Cool. I wont consider it a date just yet. She is not married, no pictures in her house, no ring ( no I didnt ask)

From what you've shared, she's interested: coming over, longer chats, invite to her family's NYE party, trip to Savannah. Seems to me you're playing coy with the "not a date yet" comments…

I will take it slow. I like her. She is about same age as myself, smart, and is self sufficient financially etc.

[BL42]

And today, my youngest daughter is moving in.. It will be nice to have her in the house.

She's moving out of her mom's house and in with you? What's the story there?

My youngest has been living on her own for a while.
The resturaunt she works in makes it hard to make ends meet.
So, she asked to move in, save some money for a while.

Interesting. Wonder how your ExW will feel about this. But...not your concern anymore.

She wants to go on a simple road trip to Savannah with me.. Cool. I wont consider it a date just yet. She is not married, no pictures in her house, no ring ( no I didnt ask)

From what you've shared, she's interested: coming over, longer chats, invite to her family's NYE party, trip to Savannah. Seems to me you're playing coy with the "not a date yet" comments...

I will take it slow. I like her. She is about same age as myself, smart, and is self sufficient financially etc.

Good approach. Take it slow and enjoy the process.

[BL42]

Mach40,

Pulling your OLD comments over to your thread to respond...

After spending time on the 2D dating sites, I am done looking at them. They are so fake..

Nothing wrong with that - I deleted them for a time too, though suspect I'll be back at some point.

My spidey senses kept seeing patters of loss of marriage

Yes, at my age and especially your age the majority of the dating pool will already have been married.

gain of home

What do you mean?

need financial help to maintain lifestyle.

How do you know that?

Most were graduate degrees

This seems like a good thing. Or at least not a negative?

most wanted/needed boats and were pictured with them.

How do you know they wanted/needed boats? Maybe they have one or have a friend with one and were trying to show off what they like and are fun?

Most were sports heavy game watches.

Is watching sports a bad thing? Most men would like this. Even if you don't, doesn't seem like a deal breaker...or at least something you vet in a date.

I have deleted accounts. I bad two meets from one app.

Just my opinion, but wouldn't give up after two bad dates....you're going to have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince (or princess), no? Remember back in the day when you were dating before marriage...you weren't expecting to find your forever person right off the bat. Get into that mindset.

I think I was profiling people off of pics etc. Used to be a recruiter USN, and I think I profile people.

I guess what I am seeing is patterns of people profiles.

And when they project via picturss a specific lifestyle, of which was there previous prior to divorce, they are wanting someone to help maintain it. Is that not true, or is that only what I see.

Just my opinion, but wonder if you're reading way too much into these.

If you're examples of terrible profiles include grad degrees and enjoys watching sports.

And as for the boats...similar to what Demi Moore tells Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men: "Geez, Mach40, you were in the Navy for crying out loud!"

[Mach40]

And today, my youngest daughter is moving in.. It will be nice to have her in the house.

She's moving out of her mom's house and in with you? What's the story there?

My youngest has been living on her own for a while.
The resturaunt she works in makes it hard to make ends meet.
So, she asked to move in, save some money for a while.

Interesting. Wonder how your ExW will feel about this. But...not your concern anymore.

She wants to go on a simple road trip to Savannah with me.. Cool. I wont consider it a date just yet. She is not married, no pictures in her house, no ring ( no I didnt ask)

From what you've shared, she's interested: coming over, longer chats, invite to her family's NYE party, trip to Savannah. Seems to me you're playing coy with the "not a date yet" comments...

I will take it slow. I like her. She is about same age as myself, smart, and is self sufficient financially etc.

Good approach. Take it slow and enjoy the process.

My ex actually helped her move in. She was leaving as I came back, what timing, lol.
She is okay with it, a little sad she didnt ask to move in with her. Daughter explained the dynamics over there and driving time to and from work were major factors. And, I have a back yard for the dog and a fire pit, BONUS>

[Mach40]

Mach40,

Pulling your OLD comments over to your thread to respond...

After spending time on the 2D dating sites, I am done looking at them. They are so fake..

Nothing wrong with that - I deleted them for a time too, though suspect I'll be back at some point.

My spidey senses kept seeing patters of loss of marriage

Yes, at my age and especially your age the majority of the dating pool will already have been married.

gain of home

What do you mean?

need financial help to maintain lifestyle.

How do you know that?

Most were graduate degrees

This seems like a good thing. Or at least not a negative?

most wanted/needed boats and were pictured with them.

How do you know they wanted/needed boats? Maybe they have one or have a friend with one and were trying to show off what they like and are fun?

Most were sports heavy game watches.

Is watching sports a bad thing? Most men would like this. Even if you don't, doesn't seem like a deal breaker...or at least something you vet in a date.

I have deleted accounts. I bad two meets from one app.

Just my opinion, but wouldn't give up after two bad dates....you're going to have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince (or princess), no? Remember back in the day when you were dating before marriage...you weren't expecting to find your forever person right off the bat. Get into that mindset.

I think I was profiling people off of pics etc. Used to be a recruiter USN, and I think I profile people.

I guess what I am seeing is patterns of people profiles.

And when they project via pictures' a specific lifestyle, of which was there previous prior to divorce, they are wanting someone to help maintain it. Is that not true, or is that only what I see.

Just my opinion, but wonder if you're reading way too much into these.

If you're examples of terrible profiles include grad degrees and enjoys watching sports.

And as for the boats...similar to what Demi Moore tells Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men: "Geez, Mach40, you were in the Navy for crying out loud!"

Tom was told he was in the Navy while trying to sail, in Top Gun 2 also, comical.
As far a "Home" comment, I feel, after seeing other women close to me and family, that they will try to get back into same lifestyle, a home etc. Its nothing derogatory, but its just a feeling I get. Maybe I am a little stand off and have a more of a questioning attitude as of late.
Good attitude about the dates. They werent bad, but I may have not been 100% focused on the fact they wanted to meet me to begin with..
Graduate degrees are not a bad thing, but many with grad degrees are with similar people and generally, not always, live in a higher standard of living. And after losing a spouse, its rather hard to get back into that.. I was just reading it as someone who wanted someone with a higher income, kind snotty of me I guess.
I know a few women that watch sports just for the husband, not because they like it. Just personal experience.

[Mach40]

PS everyone, I know how to sail, underwater as I was a submariner. LOL
On the surface, I have only been qualified up to Surface Controller of a small vessel for operations. Not a rhib, just a little bigger, lol

[Ginger1]

I’m glad you brought this over here.

Mach, that’s really heavy on assumption and also on the assumption these women can’t maintain their own lifestyle. I imagine you are matching with middle aged women who have built something in their lives . They have hobbies like boating and enjoying sports! They aren’t kids anymore. They have earned things throughout their lives and often make their their own money to maintain them.

I happen to know a good amount of women who earn pretty well for themselves. They don’t need a man to pay for the things they enjoy. It’s an outdated notion, don’t you think?

Also, To speak to why OLD dating is so hard for MEN as one poster had mentioned. I agree. It is harder for middle aged men these days. Mainly because men used to be able to bring some charm and a salary to the table . Women no longer NEED men. They have to bring more to the table than being the guy who works over 50 hours a week and provides. Because women are doing it too. And killing it. Typically in midlife, it’s more of a want than a need . Women and men both are established. It’s harder than it used to be sure, but majority, the standards are not unreasonable

[LH19]

Ok so when 80% of women on Hinge filter at 6ft and only 14% of the population is over 6 ft tall how do you say that’s not unreasonable. Please take some time and give me a reasonable answer. Don’t just say I don’t filter 6ft. That just makes you in the 20 percent category.

Also btw men no longer need women either. That’s why all these guys you meet are unavailable. Men can take care of themselves so a woman has to bring more to the table.