Actually, women with graduate degrees probably can fend for themselves financially - meaning they may feel free to date someone who doesn't make as much as they do - and they are probably more focused on finding someone who is an intellectual match.
Wouldn't in theory someone who was an intellectual match also be a financial match? Also, you may want to google hypergamy.
Originally Posted by kml
My BFF, who has nothing but her low-income job and a meager social security widow's check, is the one who really should be looking to date a guy who has at least a home and a pension or some such.
Great you are encouraging your friend to be a gold digger and you want to know why there is a problem with middle age dating.
Originally Posted by kml
(My minimum actually is that the guy be able to live within his means and provide for himself, but I don't care about much above that - I just don't want his financial worries to become mine. ) I also don't need a guy to have the same educational level as me, but I do need him to be intelligent.
So a quick google search will tell you that 34% of Americans are financially well of and 54% of Americans are intelligent so with your 2 basic requirements yo have narrowed it to about 10% of the population.
That said, LH has a point that men swipe right a much higher percentage than woman and woman get FAR more matches - that's just a statistical fact. So while that doesn't measure the quality, it is way easier for women at least in terms of quantity.
These are the facts and should be undisputed but they don't fit into the agenda of its not me it's them.
My ex has a graduate degree. She is super intelligent, as far as her degree and speaking ability. I know deep down she wanted to connect with someone with "higher" speaking/intellect.
Did she always have a graduate degree or did she get it during your marriage?
Originally Posted by Mach40
In marriage you have to accept not everyone meets all your wickets.
Well actually you don't.
Originally Posted by Mach40
Graduates degrees are not a guarantee you will make it.
What do you mean by make it?
Originally Posted by Mach40
The lady I just met down the street, I like her, we chat up quite a bit, which is nice. Lets see where things take us.
Have you gone out on an official date?
Originally Posted by Mach40
I had a fear a long time ago, that I would meet someone, then the ex would have a epiphany and want to get back. Not sure how I would have handled that. Probably poorly.
Yeah you kinda got stuck in limbo for 5 years.
Originally Posted by Mach40
Maybe that has something to do with being judgmental on the OLD sites too.
I think because you feel your Ex used you for your money you feel every woman will do the same. This comes down to loving yourself Mach and seeing you have more to offer than a paycheck.
A few on the place I was on stated, they are financially and mentally secure, but not many at all.
Mach, I have to be very honest with you- there is no way in h*ll I would put that in a dating profile. Ginger has a thing about men saying their kids come first. I have a thing about people of either sex saying they're mentally and / or financially secure.
When it became general knowledge that we were kaput and had sold our marital home, I actually had a couple of guys not ask but state, "you must have a pretty healthy bank account" I cannot tell you how offensive that was. What's mine is mine and for myself and my son, not some rando dude looking for a sugar mama.
And if the guy wasn't looking for that, my bank account is none of anyone else's business.
I'd have to question why they're saying they are mentally secure. Does that mean at one point they weren't mentally secure?
I see so many guys' profiles, "steady job, own my own home" ... lots of people have jobs and own their own homes. What I want to know is, are you an @$$hole? How do you treat others when no one is looking? What are your core values? What makes you laugh? I don't need to see photos of your boat or your motorcycle.
And if they're putting material possessions in their profile, why be surprised if they attract someone who wants those things?
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
My ex has a graduate degree. She is super intelligent, as far as her degree and speaking ability. I know deep down she wanted to connect with someone with "higher" speaking/intellect.
Did she always have a graduate degree or did she get it during your marriage?
Originally Posted by Mach40
In marriage you have to accept not everyone meets all your wickets.
Well actually you don't.
Originally Posted by Mach40
Graduates degrees are not a guarantee you will make it.
What do you mean by make it?
Originally Posted by Mach40
The lady I just met down the street, I like her, we chat up quite a bit, which is nice. Lets see where things take us.
Have you gone out on an official date?
Originally Posted by Mach40
I had a fear a long time ago, that I would meet someone, then the ex would have a epiphany and want to get back. Not sure how I would have handled that. Probably poorly.
Yeah you kinda got stuck in limbo for 5 years.
Originally Posted by Mach40
Maybe that has something to do with being judgmental on the OLD sites too.
I think because you feel your Ex used you for your money you feel every woman will do the same. This comes down to loving yourself Mach and seeing you have more to offer than a paycheck.
I paid for.both degrees. Yes, I have been on four dates. 3 online, one not. Lady down the street invited me over for New Years. Not official date. A Graduate degree does not gurantee you a job. Very few do. Thats a fact. I never felt she used me for money. When she was employed, she paid for everything once she moved out except car insurance.
A Graduate degree does not guarantee you a job. Very few do. That's a fact.
Based on what data?
Originally Posted by Mach40
Lady down the street invited me over for New Years. Not official date.
Are you going to ask her out?
Yes I am. Lunch or late lunch for this weekend or next. Come on LH19, are you honelty believing that a graduate degree gurantees a job? Not all careers are lucrative or open. Plumber n Electricians make.money without degrees, and some degrees are guranteed at least getting a job, like engineer for example. But there are lists out there showing worthless degrees many have bougjt into. College and Universitys are businees', not hiring agemcys.
Yes, Its unfortunate, especially with the amount of work and cost associated. For example, PHd in computer programming?. Why. To teach?. You are no better than a programmer at Bachelor level. We have several workers in my IT systems world here, that laugh at people that get degrees at a PHd level there. No ROI.
