Another happy day for me! Another day of her coming to pick things up! Hopefully this is the last time she comes around.
Everyone around me told me that I look great, detached. Reconnected with many people over the last week. Feels good to be alive!
TMS, just keep your eyes forward, and don't let her distract you. No matter what she says and does, you're the master of your domain! She can leave. She can comeback. None of that matters to what you need to do! You're doing great at this juncture, just keep moving forward!
You've got this!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
TMS, how are you holding up with that interaction in the rear view? Hope you’re having a good weekend.
URS0, thanks for asking.
There have been days where I was sad, but mostly I'm doing good these days. Especially when it's sunny outside
I am in no contact for almost 2 weeks now. Nothing from her either. Had a great weekend with friends.
I made an absolutely bold move today for full detaching/GAL. Bought tickets for a vacation on the other side of the world. And guess what? It's our anniversary! If she will want to comeback and celebrate it together she can buy tickets later, if not I will be enjoying it with my friends. One way or another it will be a great anniversary! With or without her!
I made an absolutely bold move today for full detaching/GAL. Bought tickets for a vacation on the other side of the world. And guess what? It's our anniversary! If she will want to comeback and celebrate it together she can buy tickets later, if not I will be enjoying it with my friends. One way or another it will be a great anniversary! With or without her!
Just dig down deep inside and make sure you’re doing this for the right reasons. If you’re doing it to make a statement or pressure/manipulate her, it will blow up badly. You have to be completely okay with her deciding she’s going on her own vacation, to the opposite side of the world to you.
If that’s okay with you and you’d wish her all the best, then that’s healthy detachment. If you’d be hurt if she told you she’s going on a Caribbean singles cruise, then you need to question your motivations for your trip.
It’s okay to have a sad day TMS. Think of it like this - to go from being married and an unexpected bomb day…. All the way to marriage saved or happily single - we all have to eat a few hundred sh*t sandwiches to get there.
Grief/sadness is normal. Don’t run from it, but also don’t get overwhelmed by it.
Imagine you require 200 sh*t days to get from bomb day until internal happiness. Each time a sh*t day comes along, you’re one step closer to the end of the journey, aren’t you? Embrace it.
1. “I feel sad. I remember what used to be. I have cried a few times today.”
Becomes
2. “I’ve cried previously and I’ve been okay, so I’ll be okay eventually this time too.”
Becomes
3. “Grief is an important part of growing as a person.”
Becomes
4. “I only have to eat 150 more sh*t sandwiches after today 👍”
Think of grief as a road which takes you to where you’re going. Travel it, feel every bump, get used to the sensation. If you embrace the journey, you’ll get to your destination.
But if you don’t like the rough road and hit the brakes and come to a stop - you’ll never get there.
I made an absolutely bold move today for full detaching/GAL. Bought tickets for a vacation on the other side of the world. And guess what? It's our anniversary! If she will want to comeback and celebrate it together she can buy tickets later, if not I will be enjoying it with my friends. One way or another it will be a great anniversary! With or without her!
Just dig down deep inside and make sure you’re doing this for the right reasons. If you’re doing it to make a statement or pressure/manipulate her, it will blow up badly. You have to be completely okay with her deciding she’s going on her own vacation, to the opposite side of the world to you.
Thanks for commenting. This is fully my decision based on me. To be honest, I did not even know the dates when my friend was booking it It's just a strange coincidence.
These days I am fully focused on me. Wishing her happiness and peaceful mind. I would even be glad if she went on her own trip if it helps her be happy.
Interesting new development. Our divorce process has not even started yet. However, she changed her surname back to maiden name on all social media platforms.
I was not even aware of this until my friends pointed it out to me.
No big reaction from my side. I am just wondering if this is a statement that she wants to fully move on and date other people?
Interesting new development. Our divorce process has not even started yet. However, she changed her surname back to maiden name on all social media platforms.
I was not even aware of this until my friends pointed it out to me.
No big reaction from my side. I am just wondering if this is a statement that she wants to fully move on and date other people?
It's just a strange coincidence.