Well it's been a few weeks. Not much new to report. I did go out with the girl I met on New Years. Just met for a quick drink. Maybe she was lying, but she had more issues and drama going on than I did. We haven't seen each other since and that's fine.
I've still been really busy doing stuff around the house, and son has been spending like 5 out of 7 nights with me. Although W moved into her townhouse this weekend, so we'll start following our custody schedule now. Days/nights I don't have him are kinda lonely. Despite staying busy, winter [censored] and there simply isn't a lot to do.
I've seen XW a few times (wrestling tournaments, drop offs, etc). We're friendly with each other, but I really have no feelings towards her anymore. I can't believe how well our son seems to be handling this. IDK if he ever says anything to her, but he really never mentions the D to me. But I know he feels guilty if he doesn't see one of us for a day or two.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
Actually you should take your under age son to the store to pick out a small gift. She will likely return the favor on your birthday. Then you don’t put your son in a tough spot where he has nothing for his mom on her birthday. Always put your kids well being first.
Silly question for the crowd. I truly don't care what XW thinks or feels. Let me repeat, I truly don't care what XW thinks or feels. But I just thought of this and I'm curious about it.
A friend stopped over last night for a few beers. His W and my ex are close friends. So typically whatever I say to him, he tells his W, and she tells my ex. Anyway, he said that whenever his W, or anyone asks how I'm doing, he goes out of his way to say that I'm doing awesome, never been happier, etc. When his W hears that, she acts surprised, and I'll assume she tells my W.
For months during the D, my XW's mantra was 'we'll all be happier when were divorced'. Again, I don't care what she thinks, because it's meaningless. But does her hearing about how happy I am just reinforce her decision to destroy our family? Silly question, I know.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
XW's mantra was 'we'll all be happier when were divorced'.
Your state would likely be used as justification no matter what. If you were unhappy, she could point to that’s why she couldn’t stick around, as it was dragging her down. Your happiness can be twisted to her ends too, as you said, she can say/reinforce it was for the best.
Either way, a rock and a hard place. However,
“Surprisingly, I’m doing well.”
I found that captures the essence of the situation and one’s forward movement.
This is a journey we didn’t sign up for. And we can and should make the best of it.
Also, gives a differing than expected response to W’s binary happy/unhappy thinking. If she hears about it.
Have a great day.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
Son had a wrestling match on wednesday, and a tournament yesterday afternoon. Both were about 45 minutes from home. Since yesterday started early, I took a half day at work. Got there at 3pm, and didn't get home with him till 11pm. XW didn't make it to either. Wednesday she texted saying she's busy with work and unpacking. Apparently I must be Superman, since I still made all of his events when I moved. IDC if she ever comes to his games, matches, etc, but it absolutely bothers him. I've been making excuses for her for 7 years ('mom's tired, mom's sick, mom has to do x,y,z'). I'm tempted to be honest with him and simply say 'mom's selfish, lazy, and her job and wine are more important to her than anything', but I won't. Besides, I'm sure he's figured that out by now anyway.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
Hi my friends. It's been a while, so thought I'd check in.
Things have been going pretty well I guess. Enjoying the times I have my son, and missing him when he's with her.
I've been chatting a bit with a girl I used to know years and years ago. We met up for a drink Saturday night. It was fine. No earth-shattering love connection or anything, but it was nice just sitting and hanging out with a female for a bit.
For some reason though, the last few days, I have been missing the ex. I suppose that's normal. She dropped him off yesterday and waved and gave a big smile. She's never been in my new house, so we haven't talked in person in probably a month.
So that's about it. Been a rough few weeks with son and I both being sick.
On a negative note, a coworker called last night and said his W told him this weekend she's filing for D. Sounds typical (drifted apart, not happy, etc). Anyway, I directed him here and to ordering D Busting, so be gentle with him. lol
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
