Realizing something I built with someone for 22 years is now over, memories and moments and flashbacks of everything we had together entering my consciousness.
... words are hard to describe what it feels like.
... a realization of what could have been and now can no longer be. Questioning my life choices and decisions and wondering why the one woman I devoted myself to for the rest of my life, through my thoughts, my words and my actions,
I hear you and feel it. For me, 21 years married, 25 together. For some of us it seems impossible that this amount of investment, no matter the ups and downs, could be dismissed in such a fashion. It still feels unreal many times.
I've talked to one or two others I know personally who have gone through something similar. They all said it is hard to describe in words. Just...if you have gone through it, you know what they are saying and experienced.
These days the hard feelings come when I come face to face with what could have been and what will be now. I try to focus on the now. Though I sometimes see the potentials and the void in their place.
I am filling that void with other things. It comes slowly. In its own time I suppose.
I am glad you have an agreement signed finally. It's not finished yet, but it gives shape to closing it out.
For me the shape is - I have three more sets of retirement accounts to balance and distribute, a car to sign over to her name only, and 11 more months alimony to send.
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H:54 W:50 D19, D17, S12 ILYBINILWY 3/23 DB1 4/23, rescinded 5/23 DB2 6/23 ("I can't do this, I Love HIM") Legal Mediation 1-5 & W moves out 8/23 – 3/24 Settlement 5/24, Court 9/11/24 <-, D 9/16/24
So I thought she had signed but apparently her lawyer is now playing games. She had until December 5th to do financial disclosure for court process and it is now December 13th. She has also lied about having cleared back payments for one of our vehicles which is still under both our names on the loan. I keep receiving collection calls for this vehicle and part of agreement was She was supposed to move it over to her name loan wise and keep the asset value and assume it's liabilities. So none of this has happened and my lawyer is now pushing through with the court process or at least indicating such as to her email to stbxw lawyer. So now I sit here with the realization that even though I did everything in good faith and offered her the mediated agreement with concessions, she is not taking any of this seriously and I will be going forward with court process in which she has a lot more to lose. I do not understand this logic and I thought the threat of court would have been enough to act but it's turning into a game now. This being said, it going through court will mean that I will have to fly back and jeopardize my job here to have this over and done with. It seems like a never ending story
Hey, C. Terrible to hear that she is seemingly playing games or taking advantage of your good faith efforts. Remember, you've been fired. Do what is best for YOU. This M is heading towards its end so why have your L just "indicate" you're moving forward instead of just telling your L to do what is needed to actually get it to closure. Are you really surprised at her behavior? From what I recall, it sounds like it is consistent with what you'd previously experienced. These courts want to keep things moving along as well, especially if there are no kids involved. Do what is in your and your L's control to put it on a path to the end. There is nothing to gain by trying to figure out her motivations or behavior or even spent much mental energy being flustered by it. It is just going to continue to disrupt your ability to move forward. My intent isn't to be harsh. We've just seen so many posts here where one S or another is delaying the process in ways that are unsurprising given the behaviors that got us here. Buckle down with your L and just work on what you need to do to have the D finalized. The finish line is in sight now run through it!
