This generational curse has got to stop, it's a disease and it's running through our family. I spoke to my SIL last night and it appears that her H my H's brother has lost his ever loving mind. He had shown signs of this happening around the same time my sitch started, he tried to suppress it, now its boiling over. All of this is a result of the trauma they experienced during their childhood. We have to pay for the failures of their parents. It's so funny to me the people they dislike the most is who they are acting like. My heart hurts for her and their 2 young kids. She is fortunate, she has a great family, a good job and a beautiful house, in times like this those things all seems unimportant. Your heart hurts so bad u just want it to stop. I just want to b there for her, somebody to listen when she needs to vent, I feel it's important to have people that understand what you're going through instead of the eye rollers. I'm gonna tell her abt the this forum hopefully she will check it out and it will help her as much as it's helped me.
I am sorry to read that your SIL is going through the same thing. Parents do not realize how their actions can affect their children once they are grown.
You will be there for her because you know exactly what she is experiencing. She will need lots of support and someone to listen as well. Both of you will be traveling this road together and it's a shame that this has happened to both of you.
We didn't ask to be participants on this journey, but we are. The only way to get off the merry-go-round is to determine when you have had enough and are ready to put your feet back on the ground and focus on yourself and make your life a good one while they are on the Mother Ship. It's not easy, but it can be done, one step at a time.
Mourning the loss of a marriage takes time. There will be days when you want to scream, cry and curl up in a ball. Feel the emotions and then let them wash over your back and down the drain. In time, you will feel better and can smile once again.
When speaking to your SIL, please emphasize that if she decides to come here and be a member, she must not share her information w/her h. This is her place of refuge and he does not need to know what she posts.
Now, as a gentle reminder, you have reached the 100 posting mark. Please start a new thread and link this one to it.
Sending lots of positive thoughts your way and to your SIL.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Start a new thread just as you did this one. When you create a new thread, create a new title. I will come back around and link this thread to the new one. I am locking this thread after I respond to you since we are now over the 100 posting mark.
I would sit on that text for a while. Don't be in a hurry to respond. In fact, if he doesn't broach the subject with you, then don't respond. If he insists on talking about it, tell him you need to have some time to digest this latest news. Don't go into specifics and/or have deep discussions. I would advise you to get your ducks in a row and be prepared for anything that he will toss at you now. Evidently, the man has forgotten that he filed a year ago. Again, the ball is in his court...do not help him out of the marriage...he needs to do this all on his own.
Here is the link on how to link threads...but I will be happy to do this one for you.
Last edited by DnJ; 07/27/2405:04 PM. Reason: Added link.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
