I read the links and it appears he's in withdrawal/replay/depression and cycling. I now have a better understanding of what's going on with my h. All I desired. I know I can't help him. This is his journey, from day one.
I believe it started back in 2016. That is when he started going left and I noticed the changes in him.
I saw him go into the tunnel. I actually saw him go into the tunnel. He's running with a pack of MLC. How he breaks from them is truly up to God. I have relinquished the rope. Now I have closure as to what is going on with him and what he's facing.
I've watched him restructure his childhood trauma and was confused as to why he did that, now I know. It is a must for him to become the man he will become, hopefully.
For me, clarity is something I always seek in any situation and I won't stop until I do. I did.
QUESTION: I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW TO ACCESS OLD POST. How can I accomplish this feat?
To find any user's threads & posts...click on their screen name, click "View Profile", click on the linked number above "Total Posts", and then click on "Threads Created" or "All Posts".
Me:39 Ex-W:37 M:7 T: 9 S:6 D:3 BD/IHS/Confirm EA/PA: Feb '20 OM1 affair ends: May '20 W/OM2 & moves out: June-July '20 W files for D: Jul20 OM2 confirmed: 9/2020 Divorced: May '21
good for you for reading all the links. I know that was a lot of work, but it accomplished what I hoped it would for you in that you have the answers you sought. Sometimes the only way we can gain the clarity is by reading others' experiences, so we can then get a better frame of reference for our own sitch.
what old posts are you referring to? BL gave a good answer. We're here for you, in whatever capacity we can help. Hope you're well.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
We are divorced. I am still living in his house. looking for a home. He is ramping up going back and forth between anger then remorse. It is head spinning.
Seeing one’s divorce signed on paper is a gut punch; even when one knows it’s coming.
How long can you remain in his home. And his home? I’m guessing you got your portion of the equity?
Definitely head spinning these folks. Even after they get what they feel they want - divorce, freedom, etc. - they still aren’t happy. Angry to remorse and back to angry, yep it’s XH’s rollercoaster, let him ride it.
Good luck with your house hunting. Are you thinking of sticking in the neighborhood or looking to a different area/city? Moving/purchasing - stressful and exciting all at the same time.
Stand tall. You got this.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
We are divorced. I am still living in his house. looking for a home. He is ramping up going back and forth between anger then remorse. It is head spinning.
I'm sorry to read about the D. we all come here hoping we can do something to reverse the course; so few are actually able to do that.
I vividly remember a particularly nasty phone call with my exh on the day our D was finalized. He was so angry, throwing blame on me, saying he never wanted this and a whole lot of other nonsense. if you don't want a divorce you don't file for one, period. I'm sure the enormity and finality takes its toll on both parties, but it's no excuse to heap abuse.
The only important thing is how quickly can you move? can you find a temporary spot until you can find a more permanent location? getting away from the crazy will help you stabilize and find your own way and some well-deserved inner peace.
Last edited by bttrfly; 11/14/2211:04 AM. Reason: added a space
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
I am bumping this up so that you can provide an update here.
As I stated on my thread, you are over analyzing things. There is no rhyme or reason for what they do or don't do. The more you try to figure out what is going on the more you are going to drive yourself nuts. Sit quietly and the answers will come.
Keep the focus on you and what you need to do to live your life to the fullest.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I think this is my thread. I hope. If not, please let me know.
I am sorry if I took up time on someone else’s page. I was not aware.
My fault on that lack of awareness.
I am focusing on myself healing and growth. I do not post what I have done and do, that would be a lot to talk about. It is daily by the minute.
I come on here with questions about my h transition and looking for clarity as things happen that confuses me, not everything, only when confused, as you all have walked this walk and know way more than I know.
I am not looking to pin point where he is at. He’s on his journey. I am asking for clarity when confused.
It appears that my questions have become overwhelmingly and for that I offer empathy for the burdensome, weight of my questions and time.
You all are amazing in the clarity given and am grateful and appreciative.
Oh and it’s not my h page I am on. I am not on his page. It is a mutual person close to him. When he post stuff it comes across my page. My question was his friends and etc…that posted these events do not or do not appear to be around him much anymore.
Thank you for the different perspective other than mine which was he told everyone to block me from his posts. Your perspective that they maybe tired of his antics or along that lines. I didn’t think of that.
