I just want to take a moment and say thank you to all the people on here that take their time and energy to chime in on our crappy situations. You have been an incredible pillar of support in a difficult moment and I know I wouldn't be doing as well as I'm doing (not great but ok and will get through it) without you. So thank you again, life goes on, and I hope to pay it back one day.
You'll get there Josh, I'm 2 years down the line from BD (almost to the day). I followed the advice to the letter on here DnJ & Kind18 consistently steered me in the right direction. Sometimes bluntly but always with care. I'm now divorced after 22 years of marriage & 26 years together. I'm happy, have a fantastic social life & genuinely feel that the divorce was a good thing. My ex fluctuates in and out of his crisis & I'm still working on not dashing in to save his relationship with our two children (21&18). There's still difficult days where I mourn my life as it was but the one guarantee is that things change & time passes. Hope you have a lovely christmas 🎄
It is really amazing how great this community can be, both the historical posts and real time feedback from so many people. When my IC originally recommended that I review MWDs writings, I was skeptical. The books were helpful and challenging to read while going through such a difficult time. Then I found this forum and hired one of the "official" coaches. Steadily it helped me regain my footing. When my W revisited D last year, I felt so much better prepared. Not perfect (and, as you say, folks like Boat, Kind, Valeska, MA, R2C, DnJ, SteveLW, job, and so many others....it really is amazing....all offer generous feedback, even if it can be difficult to read. Keep posting. Keep working to change your old habits. We'll be here to help and many of us are similarly trying to pay it forward.
Hang in there . You are doing just fine . The one thing I love about here is the advice is not always what you expected. Sometimes I get a good kick when I need it . But sometimes I get the you are being too hard on yourself . Keeps me a bit grounded from running away . The amazing people on here have been where you are . Some longer and you will see overtime the new ones too. Keep posting and keep pushing upward .
