Hoping you're feeling better, WCW. Yikes, what a meeting!!!
You're right, until the both of you clear, and come to a more fun time like last weekend, no R talk. (the advice you gave me this week!).
H might be testy because of the meeting today too....I know I would be, for sure. Feels like you're on th chopping block, and your W on the other side as well. Makes it kind of hard to lean on you at this time.
Hoping things get better this weekend.
Sounds like the tight silences are really hard for the 2 of you and you're often searching for neutral things that are not housework related. Can you try to keep a list of running topics in your head to talk about? I try to do that (and I know H does as well). At first they were LAME, now a little nicer. Just even tidbits of news about family, friends, share a laugh that you share with us on the board (like the gas on the jeans...). When I'm feeling anxious or scared or mad, I find it hard to force myself to do this, make small talk and share, but it's SO important.
Not to be pushy, but can a goal for this week to reconnect to a "normal" life be that you initiate conversation more.Seems like he responds well, so he might be in a funk of guilt and "she hates me"....Try to fill the silences more.
(((WCW))) just thought you'd liek to know that we have now officalyy broken the record for the nost rainy days in a row. Today is day 35. Great for the PMA, let me tell ya! Thinking of you.
Pressure is off, H got off the chopping block all in tact. It was a very close vote, but enough people understood the loopholes he presented, and add his charm, wit, and hardwork for the organization, and he is still in. I am telling you, this guy is good!!! Overall very good, but he won't admit he's happy or relieved. I felt him reach out today, just a little, about this whole deal, it was good.
always, you are right, I should keep a list of nuetral topics, but there are days, like yesterday, when I just can't do it. Even a World Champion Wife needs some down time. I'm working on a comeback, I've already started. PMA, spruce up my attitude again.
amd - at least I don't have 35 days of rain affecting me too! yuck! this has been one of the mildest Januarys around here in quite a while.
A new day tomorrow.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Wllowwlk - is it okay if when this one quits so do I? and just call it good enough? I dontwannastartanothernewthread!!! But I am sure I will. Stay tuned.
Interesting things this weekend, and I am still processing my thoughts. H has warmed up a few degrees. Even to the point of laying down in bed with me and exchanging back rubs, it has been a couple of months since that has happened. Nice interaction all day today, even some nice total conversations and innuendos, although actions bothered me such as not helping with tasks outside, but he did help to get the tractor started after I thought I broke it. Now I have to wonder, WTH is this all about? and how do I feel about it? I should be ecstatic! but I can't get this cap off my emotions and feel good about it. After nothing from him for so long, what changed overnight? I don't trust it, I feel like if I take the bait he's dangling he'll jerk the line and pull it back before I can get it. I don't want to feel like that again. Oh well, it's just one day, one weekend. The big baby step I've been waiting and hoping for, and now what? more wait and see.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
OK, I'm calmed down. Really, I'm so very happy for you...this is a mini-breakthrough....laying on your bed and exchanging backrubs???? Geeeeeez. Sure is different than the silent standoffs you've been having, or when he freezes when you hug him or runs away.
I think it may be that he had a high this weekend, and is finally feeling good about himself. Feeling like you squeezed through by the skin of your teeth with all your effort (his victory at the meeting) must have made him feel great. You mentioned that he needs a lot of compliments and ego boosts. Maybe that's what he needed to take the cap off of HIS emotions, to be brave enough to venture towards you again. He's in a good spot ego-wise, so time to do brave things and really get back the good feelings in all parts of your life--including feeling like a fun husband with fun moments with your W. It's hard to put down that feeling.
I suggest you take it and go! I KNOW it's hard...that's normal. But for now, force yourself to go with it. You've been so patient, your time will come to air your concerns...you didn't wait all this time with such challenges to turn now. Put on that smile and fake it til you feel it.
Remember, you're here to see what'll happen if you really, really try. So go for it. Remember, no expectations tomorrow morning....
WCW- I am so happy to hear about the significant baby step. And I completely understand about not wanting the cap off your emotions. You're protecting yourself, consiously or not. And why wouldn't you? You're right, if you jump all over this babystep I would worry that he would snap it away too.
But, you have to see a very obvious trend here. His coldness and on-one-day-off-the-next is ALL ABOUT HIM, NOT YOU. I think it's pretty clear that he opened up to you because he was feeling good about the results of that meeting.
Well, whatever the root causes, I'm happy you got a little something We all need it, don't we?
ready to quit, get a huge baby step. See, holding your toungue when you think that you've reached the end does show promise. Hey, maybe it was the apple pie! did you share?
Totally understand the cap on your emotions, and that is ok. Acutally it is exactly what we are told to do, don't get to excited.
He's proceeding with caution so should you, you wouldn't want your emotions to overwhelm him. I am still hoping for something silly like eye contact, or a smile, or how about "hello"
The LONG HAUL remember, no you don't get to quit. After this weekend, I needed to hear that someone had a positive step
Last edited by shocked_and_alone; 01/23/0612:48 PM.
Yes, maybe just nothing more than relief after Saturday. But some of it started Saturday morning already, finding a reason to come in the bedroom while I was changing. Sunday I was so shocked about events that I am still remembering all the little good things. A funny thing was we had a conversation about a 'lady' at the meeting the day before that doesn't cover up much, and wears clothes that are a couple sizes too small, H said it leaves nothing to the imagination, etc.... H was sort of complaining about women that run around like that, my comment was 'if you got it flaunt it'. He came back with 'then why don't you flaunt it, you have more than she does!' I think that was a compliment! We then went on to agree that it's the package, and a turtleneck can be sexier and more tantalizing than someone hanging it all out. Whew! I suppose though that a baggy sweatshirt still doesn't mean sexy, but than again....
After a late supper, which was venison steak and potatoes, we talked about CWD, and getting it from eating venison. I was sitting on the couch, watching Seattle anhiliate the Panthers, and was getting very dozy and tired already. H noticed, and cleared his stuff away that he was working on and as I laid down I said it must be the CWD venison. He said no, that would make you twitchy, and then came back and said 'like this' and started tickling my feet and we got into a tickling fight.
The rest of the evening passed, H called his daughter after the game was over, talked with grandkids,etc. Someone on the other must have mentioned granddaughters birthday last week and maybe even said thanks for the gifts I sent out but didn't say anything to H. I heard him say "I'm not a very good grandpa, I forgot to call". But he never said anything to me about sending a package. Well, that's not what it's about anyway, it's about how I felt better because I sent something.
Today has been normal for us. Routine morning, said see ya later to the shower curtain when I left.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Geeeeeez. Sure is different than the silent standoffs you've been having, or when he freezes when you hug him or runs away. 
I think that was a compliment! We then went on to agree that it's the package, and a turtleneck can be sexier and more tantalizing than someone hanging it all out. Whew! I suppose though that a baggy sweatshirt still doesn't mean sexy, but than again.... 