All I can say WCB for harping on you about $ is "That ba$tard!" He can KMA!!!
You are going to have a great trip with your kids and you'll be the one with the treasured memories of them...nothing can ever compare to that. His loss...completely.
You DO deserve so much better than this. And you are just now realizing it. So just wait until you are over him and then let's see how much you do soar, Super Beth!
So sorry your H is being a wanker. Had a rough day with my own wanker. It sucks. You know what, though? You are better and smarter and more wonderful than this situation that you've been dealt. You will rise above it and will come our soaring!
If I've learned anything from this experience...You can't keep a good woman down.
Hang in there. Enjoy your trip with the kids. Oh, and Jamaica ain't all it's cracked up to be. There is lots of crime and begging. Maybe the Karma God will visit your STBXH while he's there and his hotel room will be robbed or something. I can hope, can't I?
Spitfire
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
What and we weren't invited? Now if I happen to find a fruit laden money tree when I attack the jungle that is my garden, I will hire a private jet and pick you up on the way
I'm back! Thanks to all of you for your support. It has been a crazy week.
The STBXH has been a jerk. He called last Thursday morning and said he had a sleepless night thinking about the money. He wanted bank statements and credit card info. I gave it all to him. I have nothing to hide. I told him if he finds a hidden Swiss bank account to let me know. I did ask him for his check stubs so I could make sure all the money was getting deposited. What goes around comes around.
Was chosen to sit on a jury on Thursday. Very interesting. It was a domestic battery case but a minor one between teenagers. There are some messed up kids out there. I worry about mine but it will be up to me to see that they are guided in the best direction possible. They ultimately make their own choices but I hope that my examples will guide them in a good direction.
I have borrowed some money from my mom to pay the retainer for my attorney. Decided I didn't want the wanker to bug me about that too. My mom has been a great support. This has been hard on her and she really worries about the kids. More than me, actually! I think that is because she knows I can handle this. That is a good endorsement.
I guess now I see that STBXH is going to be an a@@ about the money. I may have to remind him that I work too and that I can buy some things for me with that money! I am hoping we can get through this with minimal conflict. And, in a way, I can't wait for this to be final. I am so tired of feeling that I have to report to him. I am looking so forward to only being accountable to myself. I hate having to be held accountable for everything right now. And that is how he sees it, even though he started all of this. I want so badly to tell him what about all the money you threw away on your young mistress? That you still are throwing away on her? But, I need to get myself above that. Sheila mentioned on her thread about honesty, integrity, accountability to ourselves. Great advice. I need to remember that. Now more than ever.
My Cainercast for the week ahead:
You have lived through easier times. Have you ever, though, been in such a potentially rewarding situation before? You may think so. You may even think that there's nothing very satisfying about your current set of circumstances and it is unlikely they will lead to anything worth celebrating. You only feel that way, though, because you are fed up with a frustrating process. It seems as though this will never come to an acceptable conclusion. Ah, but it will. If you stick with it stoically and can manage to be gracefully good-humoured about a matter that secretly infuriates you, you may yet find that you start getting somewhere constructive - this very week.
Wow. Sometimes these things are so strangely coicidental. Things that make you go hmmm....
WCB
God grant me the serenity,
to accept the things I cannot change,
To change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr
why don't you have your own bank account and credit card?
Jabez -
I do have my own account and credit card. He wanted to see those too to see if I was stashing away money. I have nothing to hide. I do only put my earnings in my own account but have transfered money into it from the other account at times. I personally think he feels a little out of control right now and is trying to get some. Poor thing. He's the one who wanted it this way.
What is a Cainercast? It seems that this is applicable for almost everyone on this BB!
It's a horoscope sight - www.cainer.com. Kismet turned most of us on to it. It's silly really but fun to read.
Thanks for dropping by. And you are right - I thought having my own accounts would alleviate all of this. But I am in control of the money and he wants to see whats up. I have nothing to hide. So he can bust his butt and look.
WCB
God grant me the serenity,
to accept the things I cannot change,
To change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
- Reinhold Niebuhr
Hey Beth Sorry to hear that you're having a rough time with the money issues. I think it has to be one of the hardest things to break free from during a D. XH and I have had separate accounts for ages, but still have money talks. I'm looking forward to getting a check in the mail and not having to even approach the subject with him. Unfortunately with kids that's almost impossible. Hang in there! Dance in the living room.. yell into a pillow, think of creative names to call him and get it out of your system in a healthy way. You guys have been a great help to me.. I've started thinking "he's a wanker" the last few days and it makes me smile!
Respect, Dignity, Honesty, Honor.. we can do it! It really is who we are inside. My mother gave me some age-old advice yesterday.. had heard it before, but it's worth repeating. She told me to not do or say anything that will enforce in his mind that I'm a b*tch and gave him a good reason for this. She said it'll just relieve him of his guilt by me acting unattractive. She said "Honey, the best way to get some satisfaction is to live well, be a beautiful person he eats his heart out for the rest of his life" She said "Act happy and some day you'll wake up feeling truly happy again"
Take good care of yourself Beth! They aren't worth our time and energy. We just need to learn to embrace that
