Why the MLCer is so distant

[Imageer]

My W is wanting to sell the house too. She keeps talking about getting it fixed up and starting to pack her things. I'm my case I fell that there is a D friend in the backround encouraging her. There might be another single friend too. Part of me wants to hold on to the house in hopes that the friend fades away in hopes that it starts to bring her around. Part of me wants to let her sell the house so that she can go out on her own and find out what it is going to be like.

Matt, How is your W handling the fact that you are doing nothing to help her? I've been debating this position too. Although, I'm also tryingto be her friend and not helping her with the house would probably hurt that. What are some other opinions of this?

[Going Solo]

So far, I don't think she's really noticed.

She has a bunch of "friends" as well holding her hand that this is the way to go. I realized keeping the house in my sitch was just a way for me to not let go of her, since I wanted it for when she woke up. To let go of her completely, I have to wreck all the dreams we've been working towards for 8 years and move back to apartment life.

[Imageer]

My W is already asking me to go out and buy containers to pack the kids toys in.

[Lost_for_now]

Matt,

My W did exactly the same things. She has told me many times that she wants to put the house on the market, that we need to fix some things in it before we do. She has even had realtors over to give us an estimate on how much we should be asking for it. Also told me that she doesn't want a battle, that I can have anything out of the house that I want. That was months ago, and the house is still not on the market, nor has she been in contact with a lawyer.

I think you're handling it in exactly the right way. Do nothing. Let her handle everything, since after all it isn't you that wants any of this in the first place!

[Going Solo]

Check out my latest post on my story.

She was talking about contacting the realtor that helped us buy the house to sell it but, again, I'm leaving that to her totally.

[AmyC]

Good strategy.

I remember once my husband told me I was crazy if I thought for a second he'd lift one finger to get that house ready to sell.

[Going Solo]

I wonder if there could be some way to get you up to Pennsylvania to "accidentally" meet my wife...

*sigh*

Not that it'd probably work, but I can still dream, can't I?

[SunnyBurst]

It's amazing all these symptoms are also Bi-Polar symptoms.

[LIO]

I agree Sunny, I waiver between my H being undiagnosed bipolar and MLC - and I guess I won't know if neither is ever resolved.

Nonetheless, reading this old thread I noted some points:
'this would've gone on with or without you'
and
'stay far far away'

helpful for someone like me who was always trying to 'fix' things. Just let it play out.

[Babe]

Dear AmyC, MLCer have history rewrite is because they need justification of what they're doing during their crisis?? When did you stop doing that (history rewrite) ? Thank you