Honesty and 2x4s are always welcomed - sometimes I need that.
Perhaps my updates are doing myself justice. I've been GALing and detaching to the extent I can stomach. I'm getting better but have room to grow. Having been in the dark to MLC and DBing until Feb 2024, I lost a year of valuable insight on how to behave. I've only been at it for 3.5 months and I have room for improvement. And, it doesn't help that I struggle with buying into the strategies.
I struggle, like I've read in other threads with the concept of if I let go, will H miss me or further wander? Laura Doyle podcasts provide tempting solutions which contradict 'going dark' or feedback to 'provide little insight to H's inquiries'. It's not black and white to me which makes my thoughts scramble.
Unfortunately letting go isn't a strategy to gain your H back. It's a part of acceptance. Both of your H as he is. And the marriage as it is.
Is is part of the grieving process. Unfortunately if you use it as a tactic - it's manipulation. And manipulation provides short term relief with some long term consequences.
Letting go very hard. Re-read the detach section on the forum and then ask yourself... how can you detach from your H. How can you move closer to your needs and further away from caring how he responds?
Maybe include some in the next posts.
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
